Strong Families
Introduction
A busy father was looking for a way to entertain his young daughter. He found a map of the world in a magazine and cut it into pieces. He gave the pieces to his child and suggested she try to piece the map back together.
After a very short time, she said she had finished. He was very surprised by how quickly she had done it. He asked her how she had managed to do it so fast. She replied, ‘I noticed when you took the page out of the magazine that on the back of the map of the world there was a picture of a man and a woman. I thought that if I could put the man and the woman back together, I could put the world back together.’
Marriage and family life are hugely important. They are part of God’s natural order, and are a vital part of the fabric of society. Pope John Paul II once wrote that family is the ‘foundation’ of society and ‘nourishes’ society continually.
Nicky and Sila Lee have invested their lives in strengthening marriages and family life. Their courses and books such as The Marriage Book and The Parenting Book have had a profound impact on thousands of people in our own local church and now in many countries around the world. Recently a government official in one country said to Nicky and Sila, ‘A strong society depends on strong families and strong families depend on strong marriages. That’s why we are interested in your work.’
The Bible has a great deal to say about family life. Not only do we have a natural family but, as Christians, we are part of the church, which the New Testament sees as ‘the family of God’.
Psalm 102:18-28
18 Let this be written for a future generation,
that a people not yet created may praise the Lord:
25 In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
26 They will perish, but you remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
Like clothing you will change them
and they will be discarded.
27 But you remain the same,
and your years will never end.
28 The children of your servants will live in your presence;
their descendants will be established before you.”
Commentary
Children and the next generation
Every generation has a responsibility to think about the future and to plan for it. We should be concerned, not just about what happens in our time but also about the next generation. The psalmist is concerned for the next generation: ‘Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord’ (v.18).
Jesus is the key for every generation. Interestingly, the writer to the Hebrews quotes verses 25–27 of this psalm and applies them to Jesus (Hebrews 1:10–12): ‘Jesus is the same yesterday and today and for ever’ (Hebrews 13:8). He ‘laid earth’s foundations a long time ago, and handcrafted the very heavens’ (Psalm 102:25, MSG). Jesus will be there for ever: ‘Year after year you’re as good as new’ (v.27, MSG).
The psalm ends with this hope for the next generation: ‘Your servants’ children will have a good place to live and their children will be at home with you’ (v.28, MSG).
This is a hope, a prayer and, to some extent, a promise. While everyone is responsible for their own lives, there is a sense in which God treats people as families. We can hope, pray and believe that our children, grandchildren and their descendants will live in his presence and be established before him (v.28).
Prayer
Lord, I pray for my own family and for those in the church, that we will live in your presence and that our children will grow up to know, love, serve and be established before you.
1 Corinthians 16:5-20
5 After I go through Macedonia, I will come to you —for I will be going through Macedonia. 6 Perhaps I will stay with you for a while, or even spend the winter, so that you can help me on my journey, wherever I go.
10 When Timothy comes, see to it that he has nothing to fear while he is with you, for he is carrying on the work of the Lord, just as I am.
13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 14 Do everything in love.
15 You know that the household of Stephanas were the first converts in Achaia, and they have devoted themselves to the service of the Lord’s people. I urge you, brothers and sisters, 16 to submit to such people and to everyone who joins in the work and labours at it.
19 The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. 20 All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings.
Commentary
Family and homes
Inspired by churches we have seen around the world, we have a big sign outside HTB saying: ‘Welcome Home’. The vision is that everyone who comes to the church will be welcomed, loved and given the hospitality that we would give to a guest in our own home.
We need to recapture this New Testament vision of church as a home. Of course, the early Christians did not have church buildings. They met in homes (v.19). Paul writes to the Corinthians, ‘If Timothy shows up, take good care of him. Make him feel completely at home among you’ (v.10, MSG).
The church is the family of God. God is our father. Paul sees the whole church as a family. He talks about other Christians as his ‘brothers and sisters’ (v.15). Church is not an organisation you join; it is a family where you belong, a home where you are loved and a hospital where you find healing.
Paul, who was single and did not have his own wife or children, loves the Corinthians and sees them as his family. He found spiritual refreshment by spending time with them (v.17). He ends his letter, ‘I love all of you’ (v.24, MSG). He expects them to ‘love the Lord’ (v.22) and to love one another. They should express this love by greeting ‘one another with a holy kiss’ (v.20).
This is not just a nice theory; it is very personal. He longs to see them (v.5). He knows that they will ‘help’ him (v.6). He does not want to spend only a short time with them; he wants to spend much longer ‘if the Lord permits’ (v.7). Paul’s message flows from his love and concern for the people in the church. He practiced what he preached when he wrote ‘do everything in love’ (v.14).
The only reason Paul is not coming sooner is that ‘a great door for effective work has opened to \[him\], and there are many who oppose \[him\]’ (v.9). (It seems that whenever God opens ‘a huge door of opportunity for good work’ we should expect that there will also be ‘mushrooming opposition’, v.9, MSG.) Do not let such opposition deter you from making the most of great opportunities when they arise.
He goes on to talk about Timothy, whom he describes elsewhere as his son in the Lord (4:17), his ‘brother Apollos’ (16:12) and ‘the family of Stephanas’ (v.15, MSG). It appears from the New Testament that it was quite common for whole families to be converted and baptised together.
We also see in this passage an instance of a married couple having a joint ministry. Aquila and Priscilla ran a church in their home (v.19). Here, Aquila is named first. However, more commonly Priscilla is the one whom Paul names first (see Romans 16:3). It is clear that they ran the church together.
The family of the church is made up of single people like Paul, married couples like Priscilla and Aquila, and whole households like those of Stephanas. Together we make up the family of God.
What Paul writes applies to us all: ‘Keep your eyes open. Hold tight to your convictions, give it all you’ve got, be resolute and love without stopping’ (1 Corinthians 16:13–14, MSG).
Prayer
Lord, please give us such love for one another that whether we are single or married, we all experience the riches and refreshment of being part of the family of God.
2 Chronicles 25:4
4 ‘Parents shall not be put to death for their children, nor children be put to death for their parents; each will die for their own sin.’
Commentary
Parents and children
Good parenting is a huge advantage in life. Joash’s father died when he was a baby and he became king at the age of seven. His mother ensured that he was ‘taught and trained by Johoiada the priest’ (24:2, MSG). He clearly received a good education and ‘did what pleased God throughout Jehoiada’s lifetime’ (v.3, MSG). Joash had a family of his own which included ‘both sons and daughters’ (v.3, MSG).
God had promised his blessing on David and his family. Kingship passed down the family line. However, although God’s love was unconditional, each person was responsible for how they responded to this love. ‘The book of Moses’ (probably a way of referring to ‘the Law’, the first five books of the Old Testament) is quoted in support of the fact that ‘parents shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their parents; each of you will die for your own sins’ (25:4). (‘We each pay personally for our sins’, MSG.)
We see this principle worked out here. Joash started out well. He ‘did what was right in the eyes of the Lord’ (24:2). He ‘decided to restore the temple of the Lord’ (v.4). Everyone joined in: ‘All the officials and all the people brought their contributions gladly, dropping them into the chest until it was full’ (v.10). ‘They rebuilt the temple of God according to its original design’ (v.13). (Buildings for worship do matter and can be restored if everyone gets involved.)
Sadly, Joash’s reign did not end well (vv.17–27). It is so important not just to start well but also to finish well.
Tragically the same pattern was repeated in the life of his son, Amaziah. He started well (25:2), but did not finish well. He became ‘arrogant and proud’ (v.19) and ‘turned away from following the Lord’ (v.27).
Prayer
Lord, help us to be good examples and to finish well. I pray that family life would once again be the foundation to nourish our society continually. May there be a reversal in the decline in marriages and a restoration of strong families.
Pippa adds
2 Chronicles 24:1 – 25:28
With good advice young children can accomplish great things. We mustn’t underestimate them.
Joash became king at the age of seven. With the help of Jehoiada the priest as his adviser, Joash built the temple. While he had a good adviser, the people of Israel worshipped God. Sadly, when his adviser died he went off the rails. It is important to go on seeking wise counsel. And we all need to encourage the next generation.
Thought for the Day
Church is not an organisation you join; it is a family where you belong, a home where you are loved and a hospital where you find healing.
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References
Pope Jean Paul II, Familiaris Consortio © Copyright 1981 Libreria Editrice Vaticana: http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost\_exhortations/documents/hf\_jp-ii\_exh\_19811122\_familiaris-consortio.html
Nicky & Sila Lee have been married for over forty years and have four children. They are on the staff at HTB, London, UK. They have spoken to thousands on the subject of marriage and family life, authored The Marriage Book and The Parenting Book, and created The Marriage Course, The Marriage Preparation Course, The Parenting Children Course and The Parenting Teenagers Course. For more information visit www.themarriagecourses.org
Pope Jean Paul II, Familiaris Consortio © Copyright 1981 Libreria Editrice Vaticana. http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost\_exhortations/documents/hf\_jp-ii\_exh\_19811122\_familiaris-consortio.html
Unless otherwise stated, Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version Anglicised, Copyright © 1979, 1984, 2011 Biblica, formerly International Bible Society. Used by permission of Hodder & Stoughton Publishers, an Hachette UK company. All rights reserved. ‘NIV’ is a registered trademark of Biblica. UK trademark number 1448790.
Scripture marked (MSG) taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.